rita

I can hardly believe I am going to Rita Springer's worship school.  It is hard to explain exactly how I felt when I first read about it online, but I basically heard God say "GO".  As weeks went by, I kept getting confirmations that I was supposed to apply...and so I did, acting in faith that if I was accepted, the money would come in.

I feel honored to be one of the chosen women invited to attend in September, even though I was briefly panicked when I initially found out.  (What about work, my classes, the money?)  Already it is causing me to trust that yes, God wants me to go, and that yes, I will be going.  Instead of worrying how it will all work out, God keeps reassurring me that I need to let Him take care of it and that I should simply be responsible and obey.  I can be excited that He has something incredible in store for me in this.

The other thing I feel inside me is a struggle with pride.  This is, of course, nothing new, but I find it aggravating that it is distracting me from my purpose.  My mind starts dreaming about what doors might open up for me because of this opportunity--which would almost be okay if these thoughts were not self-serving.  I am aware of how easy it is to imagine how I was personally chosen by RITA SPRINGER and that we are probably going to be best buddies now...that everyone is going to think I'm amazing and she's going to hook me up with a record label and our church will become famous.

But I really don't want any of that, nor do I believe any of it...nor does it matter!  My whole desire for going to this worship school is to dig deeper into worship and into Jesus.  I have a lot of questions about my journey into greater freedom and feel that Rita is one of few people able to offer me the exactly what I need.

I have always liked Rita Springer, and the more I know about her, the more I like her.  But I also don't want to idolize her even though my respect and admiration for her is so great.  I am very hopeful that I will encounter a gifted woman who can challenge me in my spiritual maturity, but I shouldn't be distracted from what Jesus is leading me to discover about myself and Him.  Rita is simply a woman who strives to listen and obey the Lord, and her vision is to encourage others to do the same.  I don't want to feel either inferior or elevated because of her guidance in this process.

And still the realities of life must also continue on--I still have a job, classes to prepare for, a house to tend to, family and friends to enjoy, artistic creativity to be unleashed, a husband and my own self to care for, and now a trip to prepare for!

I actually have half of the money I need already, and more is still coming in.  I can't say I'm surprised, but I am always amazed to see how God works and am so blessed to experience it.  Oooh, what next God?