parenthood

I think transitions are some of the most amazing, though sometimes the most difficult, times in life. Sometimes we don't even know we are in transition until it's over and are looking back on what just happened. Other times we are fully aware that this period in time is loaded with meaning and promises to be life changing.

My hunch is that as you get older and more mature, you have more of those very aware times and less suprises. Maybe it's because we are more self-aware or more frequently reflective. Or maybe it's because we start recognizing the patterns of transition and change faster.

I think most people say that there are two things in life that top the charts when it comes to ultimate life experiences: marriage and the birth of your children.

When you get married, you look forward to a forever change...the end of singleness...the beginning of deep relationship...the start of a journey in togetherness. But really, it is a continuation of something that began awhile ago. In our world, it's not like you have zero relationship until you utter "I do." It has been a beautiful process, and the wedding is more or less a public declaration that the two have been becoming one over a period of time.

I wouldn't disagree that having children is a continuation of this process and that God's design was for it to be a natural progression out of marriage. And of course, there's the miracle of bringing a new life into the world that shouldn't be lost on anyone. What an amazing thing! But there's something more.

I've been realizing that this transition into parenthood is way more significant than those things. It's not just that one day we are a couple and the next we are a family; or, one day I don't have a kid and the next day I do. It's that all of a sudden, before I even understand what it means, I'm a mommy.

This started to hit me when I stopped working a couple weeks ago. I realized that I was really excited...and it wasn't because I didn't have to go to work anymore. It was because I was starting to feel an entirely new identity shift.

I think it's different even than becoming a wife or a husband. Before you say your vows, you are already responsible to your significant other and have already begun your life together. There isn't that much change before the wedding versus after, other than the realization that you've done something permanent and are hopefully feeling very happy about it.

But before the birth of your child, it is hardly tangible. In many ways, the addition of an actual baby barely seems possible. I don't think any of the preparations could really help me grasp the reality of what is about to happen. I wonder if there is anything more dramatic and powerful than seeing and holding your child for the first time? I seriously doubt it.

If you ask Ryan what he is most excited about, his answer is simple: becoming a daddy.

How can you add anything to that really? Is there anything more significant than a change in identity?

Well, the miracle of a new life altogether, perhaps. =)

ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I don't know if it's the weather, a day without much work, or the love of my precious puppies, but something is making me very happy. Maybe I'm just happy to be feeling better? It's been a couple months since I've felt healthy.

Or maybe it's change. Life is definitely different with two dogs, in a very good way. It gets me outside one or two times a day and gets me to snuggle more. There's nothing quite like taking my Vizslas rollerblading as they sprint as fast as they can, tails wagging furiously, or when they beg to be in my lap. There's a lot of love in our house, for sure!

We have been enjoying the changes in our family and are excited as we anticipate even more change. Eating more organic foods and learning how to manage a healthier lifestyle is part of this too. Adding value to our house and continuing to dream up projects for the future has been a lot of fun and has kept us on our toes. I think I'm ready for more music and artistic expression in my life as I continue to learn how to handle my responsibilities better and keep up what we've begun.

It's a lot to digest. I think blogging more will help me process a lot of this change in a clearer way and sort through these shifts in priorities. Pray that I make blogging more of a regular occurance so I can keep up with myself! :-)

projects

It's been awhile, but blogging hasn't ceased to call to me. Feed me...

We have a lot going on lately. We've adopted some healthier eating and exercise patterns, including switching to a few organic items. Ryan's almost finished with building a fence for our backyard so we will be ready for our new dogs this weekend. And one of us has been sick pretty much since Thanksgiving, which makes all of this more challenging but not any less exciting.

I've mostly been in "project mode"...making sure the house stays relatively clean as I try to tackle some unfinished projects and get some new ones done as well...all the while, keeping up with my four clients at work and trying to get healthy again. It's a good thing I'm not teaching this semester. All of this is a lot to be juggling!

Because of this, some of my other artistic pleasures take a back seat. I have been working on a song recently, but I haven't been putting regular time into actually getting it finished. I haven't set aside time for painting as my other projects are taking up that time. It's not that they aren't artistic projects, but they are projects--which to me is completely different than sitting down and artistically exploring with paint. Projects are less expressive even if they are artistic. Almost like practicing a piece of sheet music vs. performing one. And the fact that I started them and haven't finished them looms over me.

The funny thing is, as I'm writing this, I'm thinking "why am I sitting at the computer typing about the stuff I should be doing when I could actually be doing it?"

Looks like this post is going to be a short one today. :-)