Thursday, August 25, 2011

ready for anything and everything

He is jealous for me
loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

I love the wind.  It's almost like I'm feeling the power of God in every gust, in every whirr as it whips over roofs and through trees.  No wonder we compare the presence of the Holy Spirit to this.  It is so invigorating, so moving.  Yes, Lord, I bow before You.

It's amazing to me that these same winds I'm enjoying on my porch are from a brutal and monstrous storm only a few hundred miles away in the Atlantic.

The wind just started picking up even more.  I'm watching sheets of rain suddenly thrown down from the troubled northeast skies.  It lasts just a few moments.  Now, back to the gusts and high-pitched whispers.

Looks like tonight the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is moving
I know it's time, for heaven's rain...it's gonna rain

And yes, I'm ready.  God has been my provider through this whole process.  He has reminded me again and again that He has a perfect plan and He knows what He is doing, even when a hurricane is offshore and headed towards where I am going.  This is His beautiful plan.  I am so ready.  My heart is overflowing even now...I wonder what happens when an overflowing heart gets flooded?  I'm ready to find out.

Cause it's living water we desire
Flood our hearts with holy fire

I have heard it from many people over the last few weeks...what God has for us--for me--is LIMITLESS.  The act of worship really is simply surrendering to Him and being open to receiving anything and everything He has in store.  "When we encounter the love of God...we'll never be the same."

Do not shut, do not shut, do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Yes, I'm ready.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

radical love

"And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need . . . . Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need." Acts 2:44-45, 4:32-35

God has been speaking to me so strongly about these passages over the past few weeks as I find myself a receiver, giver, and distributor of what I have been calling "the excess", or the resources around us that He has provided.

According to most financial standards, we are far from wealthy, like most of our friends.  So, when I knew God was calling me to worship school, I suddenly had a need for a lot of money in order to go.  Financially, we couldn't send me, my church couldn't sent me, but our community of believers could chip away at it until there was enough.  I became a receiver, and what a blessing it has been to see God provide through the loving support of this huge family in Christ!

Then, God called me to become a giver.  I began to be much more aware that even though cash is often limited, wealth isn't just the money in the bank.  Wealth includes the resources around us, including our stuff, but also, and probably more valuable, our time and skills.  We know in our minds that everything is the Lord's, but often in our hearts we don't feel that way or treat our possessions that way.  "No one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own".  All of these things we possess, including time and skills, are not our own...it is meant to be the Lord's. (And the truth is, it already IS His, we just aren't realizing it.)

So then I became a distributor, seemingly randomly, as God revealed various needs.  Sometimes I would hear a need and not even think about trying to help, then God would just speak to my heart at some point later and say, "Go. Give."

I happened to be flipping channels the other day and stumbled on Joyce Meyer.  Normally I'm not willing to sit and watch Christian television.  I'm typically not up for mentally and spiritually sorting through what is being broadcasted in order to find something of value, but this caught my attention.  She was talking about STUFF.

Basically, the message was that things, on their own, don't inherently carry value.  They neither embody positive nor negative value.  The value of things is defined by the value we ascribe to them--whether that's a particular monetary value, sentimental value, irreplacable value, etc.  It's like real estate: the value of a house is simply what someone is willing to pay for it.  If no one wants to buy it, what is it really worth?

When we use our things to further God's kingdom, we are ascribing eternal value to them because they now reflect Jesus.  I believe this applies to all types of gifts as well: our time, things purchased, even to money itself.  The value of any thing (even the US dollar) is going to fluctuate according to the standards of the world, but if I give it to someone else out of obedience to the Lord, the action itself is so much more valuable than the gift can ever be.  The gift is just a symbol of the action and the heart of Jesus.

So when I look around at the things that are "mine", or things I don't need, or worse, things I'm not even using, I realize this is not how God wants us to live.  Truly and genuinely sharing the love of Jesus is the opposite of the American dream.  We Americans cling to what we have accumulated because we worked hard for it or because we think we've deserved it.  And again, it's not that any of these things are bad and that we need to rid ourselves of all of them, but it's that God wants us to view them as resources ready to be used to accomplish His will on earth.  We are to be detached from these things so that God can use us, and even use our things, to demonstrate His love.

It's hard for me to explain how this is different from what I understood and lived out before, but I am watching God change the way I live.  He challenged me to act in faith for worship school, to trust Him with my financial needs, and now He's opening my eyes to a greater understanding of New Testament giving: being detached in order to truly hear His voice, obey exactly how He is calling me to obey, and to love His way.  That doesn't mean giving 10%, what "is reasonable", or what makes sense, but instead, doing what HE WANTS.  He is opening my eyes to see the wealth and the excess that is just waiting to be distributed to those who have needs and to those who are meant to receive physical representations of His love.

I think it's mainly about how we, the church, are to love.  I also think there are lessons on true humility and surrender in this process.  I'm seeing more and more how God's ways are so opposite the ways of the world we live in, and it is that radical love that will bring people to Jesus.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:34-35